Can’t understand human relationships? Me either, date your dog

As I come to realize that human relationships completely baffle me, as how could they not? I never attached to anyone, but I sure love my dog. Please appreciate this list with the love and humor it is intended. But seriously, my dog saves me from loneliness and feeling like no one loves me. Get a pet. It’s highly recommended!!

21 Reasons why my dog is the best boyfriend ever

1. He’s so cute and everyone tells me this

2. He’s good arm candy, literally

3. He is appropriately affectionate and when I’m feeling a little prickly, he reassures me it’s ok and still loves me

4. He turns up the love when I don’t feel good

5. He loves loves loves eating the same thing for dinner every night

6. Even if he’s sitting in another girls lap, I know they are just friends and his heart is with me always

7. He looks at me like I am the most important person in his life and I never question it

8. He doesn’t snore!!

9. He likes to do what I like

10. When I expound my hope and dreams or some beautiful metaphorical experience in the universe, he listens attentively and goes in for the cuddle when I’m done

11. He wipes my tears

12. He never grumbles about helping with dirty dishes as long as I put them on the floor

13. He has the same politics as me (I think) as he never argues them with me

14. He is supportive of my endeavors. If I am working on my book, he tries to sit on the keyboard. If I’m painting, he will walk through it.

15. I like that in human years, he’s just slightly younger than me , which makes my old self feel good without the perverseness of being a cougar

16. He knows exactly how to snuggle when sleeping

17. His gaze is penetrating and I know he thinks I’m beautiful in just the essence of who I am

18. He will never hurt me

19. He is committed for life

20. He brings me gifts constantly that he finds and wants to share from his adventures outside

21. And best of all, our love is unconditional (unless he poops on the rug)

And maybe as I learn to love him, I can learn to love others (other dogs, definitely, but I’m talking about humans!)



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