People see me doing my yoga, hiking, taking good care of myself, but what my most courageous acts I do are ones that aren’t seen. When I wake up in the morning, my body HURTS! I have a severely degenerated spine, osteoarthritis, and despite looking healthy with my clothes on, my ribs and hips are sticking out from rapid weight loss that is being investigated. Laying on a bony, skinny hip hurts too.
I don’t say any of that for sympathy or people to feel sorry for me. I don’t even write it for more understanding. I put it out there that my bravest act I do daily is make the choice to get up.
Whether you are managing physical pain, emotional pain, or both, the choice to get up is a huge one. As someone who supports many in trauma recovery, when asked for advice on how best to deal, I will say to just get up.
Some days I get up to go on grand adventures. A lot of days, I can only handle getting up to eat healthy and do a few dishes.
If you have the physical ability to get up, get up. Take a breath and get going even just a few steps around your living space.
The other brave thing I do is things I hate. Sunday late afternoon is the day I give myself a self infusion of hizentra or SCIG. It’s really painful. It takes a long time to do. I feel like crap for a day or two after, but I also recognize it’s a gift.
Last Sunday I sobbed while I went through the process of preparing. I wasn’t in the mood to poke myself with several needles and feel burning going into my body for just over 2 hours. I also sobbed as I had a great day with some wonderful people and as I go into year 3 of this blog that I was sure to end, except you really can’t, I reflected on how different things are for me. Medical validation. New friends. Self confidence. What happened to me?
Each day is not easy. I have some incredibly complex situations I’m managing, but I can recognize my bravery and courage to just make the choice to get up.